I can mark the time period it all started… the urge, and act of cleaning out and getting rid of my earthly belongings. I was young. It was after my beloved cousin Howard suddenly passed away at the age of 28. The loss in our family was profound. As people do when a loved one passes, I began to think about what I would leave behind if it were me who left so suddenly. This led to a getting rid of a lot of my physical objects and a deep cleaning of my room.
Loss after loss in my life, has brought acts of deep cleaning, an expelling of unneeded, and unwanted material objects. After I got the tragic news my dear friend Amber was gone at the age of 22, I went home, and swept the wood floors of my apartment.
I suppose it has to do with control. I can't control this world of chaos, but I can control how clean and tidy my living space is. I can decide what objects I let in, and what objects I let go.
Over the years I’ve honed my skills of not letting material objects accumulate, the feeling of the walls closing in when I let objects build up. I can declutter my living space, letting go of items that make me feel weighed down, in trade for a feeling of lightness when I let them go.
Currently, a cleaning out happens once a month. Objects I don’t use, don't need, or “don’t spark joy” as organizing expert Marie Kondo espouses, are gathered, donated, tossed, given away, repurposed, or sold.
I can’t help but liken this concept to the relationships in my life. Dynamics that are unbalanced, toxic, create disharmony in me, or connections that simply make me feel bad, have to be let go. Letting go of that which does not serve me is a form of self-love, and self-care, and will always be a painful, and difficult, but necessary self-kindness.
The concept of non-attachment has always appealed to me. A return to zero. This is obviously not a simple life practice, and for me, is a continual work in progress.
Recently, the words “Deep Clean” bubbled up in my thoughts, compelling me to write it out. This is what came out. There may be more to write on this topic in the future. We'll see.
Thank you for reading.
Michelle
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