Catharsis...

Rip! Tear! Recycle! I’m sorting through a giant Artist’s portfolio full of work from my college days as an Art student at Sac State. I’ve carried this bulging-at-the-seams portfolio from home to home, every move. There’s something about working with Art students currently at Sac State, plus the irresistible drive to spring clean that brings about a deep urge to finally rid myself of my early artwork. I take each drawing, print, and watercolor, view it one last time, witness the seeds of the Artist I’ve become, then Rip! Tear! Recycle!

A sensation of lightness washes over me as fragments of paintings fill bags to toss into the recycle bin. Yes, I could use some of the art bits for Collage-work, but the impulse to dispose of this early work of mine altogether, is strong. I decide to keep only a handful of drawings, prints, and paintings in a much smaller portfolio, and liberate myself of the rest.

‘Catharsis’, the word keeps swirling around my mind. Catharsis. I take a few moments to look up the word that’s been circling behind my eyes for days. Catharsis is defined as, “The release of emotional tension, often through art.” The irony of this definition is not lost on me, as my current Catharsis comes from ripping up art, destroying it, not making art.

Spring Sac State Bunny

The timing of this grand personal event is also not lost on me. I’m working in the Art Department at Sac State, witness to these talented young artists building their portfolios with work from their classes, much like I did decades earlier.

Now, at a different phase of my life, a different phase of my Art career, and in order to fully immerse myself in this new phase, I find myself having to let go of the past. I’m making room in my life for new experiences. This is the deepest Spring Cleaning I’ve ever experienced, my home becoming lighter in belongings, and my past left where it needs to be, firmly in the past.

Catharsis, catharsis, catharsis, the word continues to circle. What else will this spring bring?

Thank you for reading.

Michelle